Anxiety, Everyday Life, Health, Motherhood

Friendships & Anxiety; Dear best friend

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In a previous post, I talked about what it’s like for me as a mom to have anxiety… Well, anxiety affects more than just my life as a mom… it affects my friendships and the ability to make friends as well. Anxiety has the power to kill friendships… It can make you distant from your friends to the point where you can feel that friendship slowly slipping away.

 

Dear Best friend,

Yes, I’m alive. No, I’m not alright. I know I haven’t called you in a while. I know it seems like I’m letting our friendship expire, and I know I haven’t really been a good friend to you lately, but please know, I’m trying. I’m trying to function in everyday life with the anxiety that I carry. I’m trying to keep myself together when all I want to do is disappear. I’m trying to keep that connection with you and I even when my anxiety tells me over and over that you’ve already given up me. I’m trying to control my anxiety and when it tells me that you have no genuine interest in me or my life. I have to battle my own brain everyday just to get out of bed, so be patient with me and understand that this battle of mine is one unlike any I’ve ever had.

Trust me when I say this… I have not forgotten about you. In fact, I think about you and our friendship daily. You mean a great deal to me even thought my anxiety makes it seem like the opposite.

Sincerely,

    Your friend who is battling
         a mental illness that is
         trying to break her.

 

I’m a pretty outgoing person and can strike up a conversation with just about anyone… but the chances of it going further than just a conversation, you know, a friendship, are slim. I have an ongoing thing where I tell everyone ” I hate people”, and that’s why I don’t have friends, when really, anxiety hates people and doesn’t want me to have any friends. My anxiety tells me that new friends won’t understand you, won’t want to deal with the baggage that you carry, and will just end up walking away anyways. Obviously this has a huge negative impact on my social life.

If you know someone or are friends with someone who suffers from anxiety, please, reach out to them. Call them. Invite them out. Let them know that you aren’t going anywhere, but most importantly, be understanding of the battle they are fighting, because it’s a difficult one.
Thank you to those of you have done this for me. it means a lot. 

 

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17 thoughts on “Friendships & Anxiety; Dear best friend”

  1. I feel you, I feel anxious in many daily occasions. I too am outgoing and “hate people,” but mostly because I’ve met a lot of fake people so I am always second guessing making friends. If you are able to be this open about your anxiety, you likely have a great support system and great friends who can be understanding, so for that you are very lucky! I hope your friends continue to fight with you and support you through your struggles!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do have a pretty awesome support system now. I didn’t before… No one was willing to understand what my mental illness was about but I finally sound people who get it. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how open and honest you are about your anxiety. I’m an introvert and social situation completely exhaust me and I find myself saying often “I don’t like people” when it’s really how draining it can be.

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  3. As a mother, I feel like your friends should only expect to not hear from you so often, just as long as when you get together it’s like old times! Those kids keep you busy! I love your post, so real- thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is the biggest reason why I decided to write this. Anxiety is hard and I know what it feels like to feel alone in something hard, so I want others to know that they really aren’t. Thanks for commenting. ❤

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  4. Anxiety can be crippling in so many ways. It’s especially hard for SAHMs who desperately need to find help parenting in their daily lives but may be filled with anxiety to do so. My husband battles anxiety, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m in the same boat with you. My favorite saying is “I don’t like people” which could be partly true but my anxiety holds me back. I go over it in my mind a thousand times just to not do it. Its tough but it won’t get the best of us.

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  6. This was a very well written blog Jessie. I hope u know that I haven’t given up on u, that I’d never give up on u. Our friendship is stronger than ur anxiety and it can’t push me away, I won’t let it. Not ever. I love u chica! Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jessie, I love reading your blogs even though I’m not a mom. You express yourself very well and I’m sure you help a lot of people deal with their issues. I hope you can beat the anxiety because you have a lot to offer the world. We should get together sometime, just the two of us. Hugs, Melanie

    Liked by 2 people

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